Saturday, December 18, 2010

Dazed and Confused

I don't know why, but sometimes I find myself crying to sleep at night. I dont know if it's because I don't know how to express myself and my feelings, or if I'm crying for the sake of crying. Sometimes it feels great, other times it makes my eyes hurt and plugs my nose, creating a "snort" sound which sometimes makes me laugh. Talking to people always helps, but you can only talk to people for so long before they get annoyed and stop wanting to be around you. I dont want this to happen. I don't want to feel like there's a demon inside me tearing me apart from the inside out.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Vancouver Drivers

So, I've had my license since February. I have a love/hate reltionship with driving. I love being able to drive anywhere/anytime I want, but I hate driving around other people (which is unavoidable, but still.).

Earlier today I was driving to the SH's place in the boons on the highway. I guess this is somewhat my fault considering I was driving in the fast lane and going the exact speed limit (oops...). But as I was driving, this guy with two kids in the car speeds by me and gives me the fucking finger!! I was furious! WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS??!!! THERE WERE KIDS IN THE CAR WITH HIM FOR PETE'S SAKE! What kind of an example is he giving his kids? Being a inconsiderate prick and a bad role model for his kids. I feel really bad for them driving with someone like him. If his car crashed and the kids died with him, I would feel more sympathetic for the kids than the piece of shit dad in the driver's seat. Unfortunately, in this city there are a lot of dumb drivers. People here don't know how to drive. Mind you I'm one to talk, but at least I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not a great driver. Everywhere I go in this city someone cuts somebody off, switches lanes without turn signals on, hit cyclists, yell at other people on the road, and so on.

Enough of the rant. Besides dealing with other drivers on the road, there re some amazing, considerate drivers on the road. People who are willing to help other people with their car problems, who follow the crosswalk signals, and are aware and actually pay attention to their surroundings. In the east van area there are so many dumb pedestrians who jay-walk without looking and walk taking a leap of faith and drivers are patient enough to put up with their stupidity. When I got my license I felt like a bird in a cage whose door has been opened. And believe me, I flew out of that cage as soon as I possibly could. I love driving outside the city. Being a traveller, I love having the ability to drive to different places around BC and everywhere else. It's great. Besides the dumb drivers on the road, I love driving on the highway. Sometimes it feels like an adventure I dont want to end. The SH lives in a secluded area out side of Vancouver which is lovely.

Anyways, I need to get back to studying but I'll write more later. Man does it ever feel good to write.