Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Besides being miserable about school, I've been making small trips around/out of town which have been helping me keep sane. A while ago went out on an impulsive trip out to Whytecliff Rock just outside of vancouver by the ferry terminal by myself. It's amazing how a place so close to civalization can feel so isolated. It was a cleansing trip. When I got to the park there were only three people (what appeared to be at the time..) present, myself included. The tide was far out enough so I could climb to the top of the rock and take in the beauty around me. Once I reached to top I felt like I was on top of the world. Gazing down at the rocks and water below me, with trees standing the same height as myself on the other side of the bay, while spring breezes continue to blow through my hair, this was a moment I didn't want to let go of. Sitting up there was the perfect spot for me to reflect on my life and see where I am, how I am, and why I am myself. I realized up there that I am not as strong of a being that I thought I was. I love myself, but I feel like sometimes I'm scared to let people in, to expose myself fully to others. I also realized that I can be better than that, and that I can trust people. It took me a long time to let the people in my life right now in fully, and I would like to thank them for their kindness, and their love, and that they will always be cherished and close to my heart. I did the same thing when I was on Galiano island with my dear friend Lynn last weekend. I hurt my back that weekend, so I had to take it easy, which I had no problem doing. Being out there by the sea was mesmerizing. While on Galiano, there was a fire ritual being performed by a shawoman for another woman for a celebration of her life. During the ritual I felt myself being pulled back to the earth from which we came, while embracing the four elements around me. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt infinite.